I left Monday morning sad and heartbroken. It was the first time since the school year started that I didn't get to bathe my daughter, get her ready for school and put her on the bus. This made me feel a bit bitter about going to Coventry; as all of you know I love her dearly and motherhood is one of the most fulfilling works I do on a daily basis. I am glad that by the end of the day at Coventry this changed. It was our last class and over the lunch break we learned that one of the students is currently in foster care. The teacher told us they asked him how his Thanksgiving was, and he responded that next year it will be better because this year he had learned that his mother had passed away. Although he was not living with her this affected him very much; I don't know all the circumstances but I know she brought him to this world and he knows it too. My heart went out to this boy who was happy during our teaching time, participated and was the most friendly students towards us. Then all of this allowed me to reflect on teaching once again.
I have a motherhood instinct after all I am a mother but wanting to be a teacher has demonstrated me that all the kids are not as lucky to have a family and grow up with loving parents. This is where the idea of school being a second home comes in from. Students often have hard lives at home already and coming to school helps them forget what is going on back at home. While some students don't like school others view school as an escape. Classrooms are that place where students who are not valued at home can become someone important. They can help the teacher, get good grades and become a favorite student. Teachers take on the roles of parents and important individuals in these kids lives. I remember being little and falling in love with my teachers because they made me feel welcomed and special. Now thinking about my future as a teacher, I see that students are human first, they are individuals with lives just like the rest of us and that part of our job as a teacher is to nurture and care for them to encourage learning in a positive environment. This is why I believe some teachers don't have kids; at least one of my high school teachers used to say that his students were his kids, he didn't need any. Days like this one help me to see the teacher I want to be and also make me love my profession even more. Teachers might not get paid much or be talked about in positive ways as we would like but the rewards are numerous in other areas. Impacting student lives, helping them to see a brighter side of life and making the classroom a second home develops thankful students and better individuals for our society.
After leaving Coventry the bitterness was gone, at least I could still pick up my little girl at the bus and enjoy her kisses, hugs and daily stories something one student from our middle school would not be able to do. Once again I think back to being the caretaker of the human spirit and how this situation is so relevant for that reference.
Lucy, This blog post has left me in tears. Thank you for your powerful writing and for doing a complete 180 degree turn in this blog post. When I began reading, I could feel myself tensing up, wondering, "Why is Lucy complaining on her blog?" And then, after reading a little more, I could see what was happening--you were transforming right before my eyes, here in your writing! It's an amazing shift that happened here, and you've captured it really, really well.
ReplyDeleteFrom the hurt and pain you felt when leaving your home without having completed your morning ritual with your daughter--to the annoyance at having to go to middle school--to the realization that one of your students was hurting--to the understanding that school, for many students, is the one place they will be cared for and loved. I absolutely loved being on this journey with you.
And, I also want to thank you for holding onto the phrase "caretaker of the human spirit." If you keep this front and center in your mind and heart, your compass will never fail you as a teacher. Although so much of the emphasis in teacher education is placed on YOU, the developing teacher, and on the work that YOU produce, you are beginning to see that the art of teaching isn't really about the teacher at all; it's about listening to the students, about attending to them, and about responding appropriately. It isn't about knowing everything or getting everything right. It's about taking care...an act that sounds so simple but is so complex, as you know and deeply understand from being a caretaker yourself.
Finally, I love what you recognize here about your own teachers and the way they made you feel. People often say that we forget everything we learn in school but we never forget how our teachers made us feel. Emotional memory runs deep. And, for some teachers, students are their family! I know many teachers who put their life's energy into their students, their classrooms, and their schools. Their work consumes them because they want to be consumed by it. For many teachers, teaching is indeed their life's calling; a vocation that is all-consuming and that dominates their identity as people. This isn't for everybody, of course, but it is true of many teachers. I always want to remember this because it reminds me of the passion and drive that most teachers bring with them into this profession. We just need to figure out better ways to honor that passion and drive, to harness it and to utilize it, in my opinion.
Go be a caretaker of the human spirit, Lucy!
Dr. Cook your words are amazing...thanks for commenting in this post in such a thorough way. Here I was writing about this story which I thought nobody would care about, it made me feel so happy and appreciated that you took the time to express your feelings towards my writing. Not to mention some of the specifics that you point out to, they make me think about myself in more clear manners that I sometimes don't understand myself but my teachers are able to see it. Finally I am glad to still have wonderful and inspiring teachers that propel my love and passion for teaching. I hope this is something that I will carry away with me and that will help me undertake the many challenges teaching will bring. I want to hold on to this spirit and the rewards u have gained from being in this program and around students and teachers that will forever be a part of my life. Thank you for acknowledging my writing, it is one of the best rewards as an author of these random stories.
ReplyDeleteLucy, I just read this today, and was very moved. You are a person who teaches from the heart, and your students are going to appreciate that about you! I see a pattern too--you talk about your Central Falls teachers who demonstrated their care for you in multiple ways, and that's the teacher you clearly want to become.
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