There is that feeling that when someone special is gone you can't bring them back.  That unexplicable sense of emptiness and vagueness that we can find no way to describe.  All there is left is a mark; one that permanently stays in our hearts and minds forever. Saturday afternoon I was on my way to a babyshower; my phone rang and it was my friend from college Emmanuel.  I thought that it was odd that he was calling and even thought that maybe he wanted to go out for a drink because of St. Patrick's day weekend.  But no, instead he said "I have bad news for you."  Since Saturday those bad news have stayed within my heart, have ran down my face in the form of tears and have left my heart broken.  Dr. Jenn Cook, my adolescent lit professor during my first semester at RIC, my mentor, my practicum and student teaching teacher, a believer in who I could become and most of all one of my biggest inspirations had passed away.  I have seeked answers and found none, only the fact that I went by her office so many times and she was not there but now there is the hurt that only her spirit will be there because she won't inhabit it again.  I still remember being in that office one semester for counseling of classes and it was the first time she had met my husband, the first thing she tells him is "your wife is such an amazing person."  Today those words resonate, those memories invade my heart and it is all I have left of the person that she was.  However after looking through my binders, after reading e-mails and blog comments she materialized.  I realized heartbroken that she is not coming back to teach a class, to tell me things but that she is still here and she is still a part of me.  Her own words made her come alive, her writing etched to pieces of papers, scribbled on index cards and typed digitally allow her to stay.  Beyond time, space and mortal life Dr. Cook remains here.  What better way to treasure her than through her writing?  What better way to remember her than through her comments?  I sit here and think of the countless times that she must have had to correct piles of papers and yet she found a moment to write words of wisdom and encouragement in the ones I received.  It is then that I feel lucky and thankful for I had the privilege of meeting her, of being her student...of knowing her and today I have the privilege to cry for her loss, to mourn her passing but also to rejoyce in the moments we shared and to tresure the pieces of writin that I have from her.  A big part of my identity as a teacher I owe it to her.  She was and will continue to be my role model...already my twitter feed feels empty because it is missing her tweets.  However she lives in me, in my lessons, in my love for teaching...in my love for literature.  Her parting was premature and many are hurting, but I also know she has left a legacy and our society will get to know who she was.  Thank you Dr. Cook, I appreciate you.