One down, Four More to Go!!!

Our first lesson went so great today that I am afraid Dr. Cook is going to come in to observe us tomorrow and that one is going to go horrible.  You could say right now that I am not being too optimistic, hopefully that will all fade away by tomorrow.  I think that us humans are intimidated by the idea that we are being watched.  Yes back in Prof. Feldstein's class we learned about this theory.  Tonight this is something that I feel strongly about, it is hard to shut everything else going around you and concentrate on teaching when there is your professor in the back of the class watching you!!!  Our lesson today went on to teach students the importance of compiling and gathering examples before you begin writing an essay.  We emphasized to students that this was a benefit for them, so when they start writing their irony essays, they don't have to go read the whole play again searching for examples.  Students welcomed the idea and we embarked on making three groups of about eight students each.  Each group was assigned either Emmanuel, Ms. Friendson or I.  We divided the sections of the book into three and each group was assigned one.  Then we went to work, one of the strategies that I used in my group was assigning students each one page from the reading and if they didn't find irony there they would have to go to the five pages that were left and search there.  It was very productive and I walked out of Central today feeling accomplished.  Students were asked to find three examples and in my group we were able to come up with six, talk about being on task and everyone cooperating.  Amongst ourselves we shared our examples and picked the best one to present to our fellow classmates.  These examples all had to be explained thoroughly, students had to give an explanation to why this was dramatic irony and they had to talk about how this particular example was relevant to the play or what did it say/show about the character.  I was really happy with the outcome, students have now gotten a jump start on their essays without even knowing and I think this is something they will be thankful for even if they don't directly admit it to us.  And so I end this blog tonight with the thought of a new day rising, coming, approaching...tomorrow will bring about its new surprises, challenges, excitement and hopefully success.

Caretakers of the Human Soul

There's so many things I could blog about....I've found out being at Central that a school day is filled with tons of learning and surprises.  So there's this particular girl who is always shy, quiet and seems to be trying.  We learned that she has a disability but she is still placed in a regular classroom.  Yesterday I was working with her on developing a web and she finally opened up!!!! I was happy we started off with destiny and found out that she wants to be a model, which is going to be hard because life is hard and she has no clue as to why life is hard.  But then it started happening, at first I didn't know what was going on.  She started shaking and at that point I asked what was going on.  It only got worse, she started convulsing really badly and making loud noises....I didn't know what to do, I started holding her hands but it only got worse.  She was going to fall and the student next to her was really scared, they all were, they didn't know what was going on.   Then she was going to fall to the floor and something clicked inside of me.  I moved the desk and got next to her...I held her and helped on to the floor.  My heart stopped for the minutes I was holding her and she started bleeding and her eyes got full of blood.  I honestly thought she was having a stroke in my arms...it was heartbreaking to feel that she was in such pain and I couldn't help her, I didn't know how.  I only did what I could and held her in my arms until it was over, tears ran down my cheeks for the girl who was viciously shaking and vomiting blood but I didn't care all I wanted was for it to be over.  When it was finally over the students in the classroom were scared, they didn't know what was going on and I had forgotten they existed.  The nurse was called by the teacher and she came.  She said she suffered from seizures and that she was going to be okay.  I didn't want to let her go and put her on the floor, I waited for it to be all over and helped her onto her desk.  Our students were moved into another classroom because they were in shock.  We couldn't get in contact with her mom or her brother, when we finally did we had already called the ambulance.  After about an hour she was taken to the hospital.  I met her mom and all I could do was assure her that when it happened I was there.  I felt connected to this mother, her daughter was vulnerable and I'm so glad I could be there to help.  She told me that last time it happened, it happened outside of school grounds and she broke one side of her face because she fell on the pavement.  That story broke my heart, for something like this to happen and as a mother not being able to be there do for your daughter.

It is then that I am satisfied with being a mother, that I find some answers to why I want to be a teacher.  We are caretakers of the human soul, yes it is true; I was a witness of this yesterday.  School is a second home and I don't mind playing the part of a warming, comforting and welcoming mother.  I am by no means a hero, all I am is a mother who thought of her daughter and did what I would have done if she was my child.

Key Moments: The Importance of Connections

Oedipus The King....one play that I wasn't looking forward to reading and I don't think 10th graders would feel very different.  Two weks later after cooperating at Central all that has changed.  For one thing I like this play...it is interesting...on the other side the students at Central don't love it but don't hate it also.  They are excited to participate in the reading, they know the story, understand it and are participants in learning about this play.  What schocked me the most is how well they make connections!!!

As a teacher one thing that you desire is to make a work that you are reading relevant to your students.  It is one of the guaranteed ways that they will be involved in their learning and that this is learning that they will take with them.  Students we have been working with have been able to do this easily, from a writing prompt about what happens in families when there is conflict to today's writing activity that asked students to ask a question about the play.

As the discussion fueled a key moment knocked the classroom door.  A student mentioned that there are still shows which have mothers and sons falling in love.  Of course they were all schocked by this part of the play, but I got to take advantage and use this opportunity to apply what I had learned many times in my education classes.  I quickly raised my hand and directed myself to the students, I talked about how sometimes we ask ourselves why we read works of literature that were written centuries ago and that we might not care for.  I mentioned what they had just said about the show they saw and what was going on in the play.  They made the connection and I just helped them see this in a more concrete way.  I took advantage of a teachable moment and told them that even though this play was written a long time ago, issues that we were encountering were still relevant to our society today.  The play might have been written long ago but this issues still exist today, cases like what happened between Oedipus and his mom still happen; only the Oedipus was not by choice.  This is why literature is still important, it helps us put issues into perspective and explore other societies that might not be too different from us.

I was extremely fullfiled that I could provide my insight and opinion.  I was happy that I could make them see something that they had put together but was hanging in mid air.  I saw for the first time the value of a teaching moment.  I understood how important it is to grasp it and exploit it.  My observations are sure teaching me and nevertheless giving me tools to put in my teacher toolbelt. 

Storytelling: Finding Your Own Voice

Allergies and life have kept me busy...it was hard to blog but I am back!!! This week I was confronted with searching for a topic to research for my writing class.  After much tought I decided to research about student's personal stories in the classroom.

One of the reasons why I chose this topic were the numerous conversations with classmates this semester when doing some of the papers we had been assigned.  In the past papers were often what teachers wanted and chose, this semester however opened up an opportunity for students to write from personal experience.  My classmates found this to be interesting, engaging and my professor found it authentic.  My peers found that papers were easier to write and that the final product was something they wanted to cherished.  I also found myself thinking the same, it is a piece of writing that I want to share with my daughter since the subject is her ultrasound picture or it is a piece of writing that I want to share with my students because it talks about how I became to love writing. 

Stories from our own lives open up a world of experiences different for everyone in the classroom.  Stories might be similar but they won't be exactly the same, this is enriching for those looking for authenticity in writing.  This view showed me to value my writing more since it is a testament of my growth as a writer, learner and teacher.  It is also valuable since in the future I can show these pieces to people around me who Might find a bit of inspiration in my stories. 

I once wrote a paper on Native American storytelling and how this tradition is highly valued in their society.  I contrasted that to how now a days we mainly stick to a cannon of writers often forgetting that we ourselves are storytellers, worthy of telling our own stories.  Today I see the importance of injecting this into the minds of our students.  It is important that they feel their stories are valuable, it is important that we give their stories a place in the classroom...it is important to encourage them to write outside of classroom walls.  Students need to develop a voice and an identity in a world that is often controlled by others above them. 

The Journey That Began With a Single Step

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."- Robert Frost There's definitely two sides to education and the classrooms that exist in our communities.  When I was asked where I would like to do my field work I jumped at the opportunity and chose an urban school.  After all I graduated from Central Falls High School, a low performing, urban and certainly controversial school.  My experience as a student there and an observer taught me that I have so much to give,,,,so much to give to communities like the one I come from.  Students are taken for granted, most times they are not given the opportunity, instead they are judged and looked at badly.  Issues ranging from bad classroom management, to not speaking English and most of all the belief that a lot of them can't learn, that they are not meant to be part of the education world.  Not caring about all of this and using my own experience I made the choice to learn from the students at Central High. Ms. Friendson said "this is my worst class right now, but by the end of the year it is probably the one I will love the most." This to me was a shocker, the class that gave her so much trouble and tested her patience minute after minute would be the one to fulfill her most at the end of the school year....but then I realized, she is the optimistic teacher, the model that brought me here in the first place.  Those teachers who don't care if they are in an urban or suburban school they are there to believe in their students.  In her case a teacher who I have only worked with over the past week but who has already given me enough reasons to believe that thanks to teachers like her students like the ones at Central have a beautiful opportunity to learn and feel equal.  Walking into this classroom was a shocker, twenty five sets of eyes all fixed upon me and my partner...all scrutinizing us and probably looking for weak spots to test us on.  An hour and a half later sitting in his car and reminiscing on how the class went we felt scared but at the same time excited and looking forward to being there again.  Yes call us crazy but this is the classroom we will be teaching at the end of the  month and as optimistic as it sounds one that we hope to learn much from. I guess one bad class is balanced with another that is probably the complete opposite.  Yes students at urban schools can behave, can listen and don't need classroom management skills all year long.  The second class we entered was the complete opposite, one that contained twenty five students also, who were more friendly than the past class, quieted down quicker, did their work without having to be told to and yet we quickly found ourselves somewhat bored.  Not that we didn't like this classroom and maybe it is the fact that my partner and I are just twenty two and twenty three, it was not too long ago that we ourselves made part of classroom such as the one we were in and the one from the previous period.  Ms. Friendson had to leave to a meeting and soon we found ourselves overshadowing the substitute teacher to start grasping any opportunity we had with them.  Not a lesson plan in hand, only a few verbal directions from the Ms. Friendson, some observing of what had gone down in the past period  and soon we found ourselves leading them into reading the Oedipus and helping with homework afterward.  They trusted us!!! maybe it was that we are young, different people in the class or how I told them that we had chosen to be there, that we were excited to work and learn with them that touched their hearts but we had a blast.  We learned on the spot planning, classroom management and successful attempts at helping them with their homework.  I haven't been there a whole year but I can see why Ms. Friendson is a veteran teacher that could probably be hired in another school of her choice, especially those who won't give her a lot of trouble in the classroom but chooses to stay here.  All these kids need is an opportunity and teachers who feel as lucky and grateful to teach them as teaching the daughters of the president. Going up and down the aisles and meeting  the characters in both of these classes I can only hope to spend more time here, to learn and teach from these students.  It will probably be a challenge but education has been the biggest challenge ever since I signed up for the program at Rhode Island College.  The classes are not easy, the program is hard and frustrating...but my joy lies in these classrooms.  Working with the people that surrounded me in the community where I graduated from and wanting to give back to them.  We go back tomorrow and I cannot wait to experience the adventures that await us, good or bad I am optimistic, I am open minded and most of all I am ready. “Identity was partly heritage, partly upbringing, but mostly the choices you make in life." -Briggs.

Outlasting Mortality: Tonight You Are Here With Us

“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.” -L.M. Montgomery.

Numerous memories exit today in my mind, many that I hold close to my heart.  Great teachers who no matter their absence leave behind a footprint that the past cannot erase.  You parted from this world in 2009 due to a sad cause, your life ended unexpectedly.  Occhi you have been gone now for four years, since that dreadful afternoon that is still bitter to remember.  Even so you made sure your life and actions as a teacher and a friend would remain as testimony for those who were a part of your life at one point or another.  In the classroom you were an awesome teacher, inspiring your students in the most weird and hard to understand ways.  As a coach in the many extracurricular activities you participated in you always  devoted yourself.  Besides all of this you were still a beautiful human being, building bonds past the classroom, past graduation...for this reason I still have the card you gave to me at my wedding.  

Tonight you are the reason for this piece, tonight the memories of you are my reflection.  You were a fan of the Oakland A's and their pass to the playoffs made my mind wonder to that place that you now inhabit and to the fact that you're not here walking this earth but your memories still remain.  I am happy your A's made it to the playoffs for this triggered a beautiful memory of you in my mind, this brought back the teacher who was also a fan outside of the classroom.  I no longer find you in the classroom you used to hold, but I do find you in a special place...the memories you left behind in my heart.  I'm sure many of your students also feel the same way, even though we cannot talk to you, we cannot visit you at the old high school, you still remain a big part of their lives.   Truth is you impacted many of our young lives.  As your A's make it in another year the news of their division win open up a chest of memories that are connected to you.  Teachers are wonderful individuals that can instill memories in their student's minds and hearts, they are special "angels" who come to us and touch our lives.  It is because of some of those "angels" that I am inspired to be in the teaching program.  It is because of their impact and their teachings that I in part wish to dedicate my life to this profession; in the hopes of someday modeling the same for my students.

Tonight I am remembering you, tonight your memories are not lost...tonight you are here with us.    A long distance separates our bodies but the Oakland A's unite our thoughts.  Thank you for the legacy you left behind, thank you for inspiring me, thank you for being a great teacher and an unforgettable friend.  Your life was cut short, but Michael Occhi by no means are you or will be forgotten.  

“The things we do outlast our mortality. The things we do are like monuments that people build to honor heroes after they've died. They're like the pyramids that the Egyptians built to honor the pharaohs. Only instead of being made of stone, they're made out of the memories people have of you.”  -R.J. Palacio

              Michael Occhi, English teacher, coach, friend...Oakland A's fanatic.

All The Different Faces Enclosed in One Space

I'm glad i'm another different face among the many in the classroom.  Twenty five students and they all come from a variety of different racial backgrounds.  I have always been that type of person who likes to see difference.  Sitting there I saw many different faces staring back at me probably thinking "she is young."  It was a classroom where you could see many different nationalities come together as one.  They are all here under one roof, under the responsibility of one person...under one singular curriculum.  This classroom which represents the reality of the many classrooms across the United States of America.  A majority of classrooms across the states inevitably filled with students from different races and backgrounds; it is truly what we are made up of.  Different shades of skin color, different eyes looking back at you, different languages...different people who all contribute to the cause that is American education.


Central High school or one of the many urban high schools are the perfect place to feel swarmed by a wave of different nationalities.  An urban classroom  is like a bag full of different flavors of candy...all wrapped differently and all different flavors.  I love this classroom, the one that allows me to experience what it means to see the different racial experiences on a daily basis.  The classroom where I can teach the many backgrounds that make up society outside classroom walls.  The classroom I can learn from in many different ways enriching my own experience through this life.  A classroom that for one is not singular,  which is not mostly made up of this or that. Rather it is one which is perfect because of all the different faces that make up this small society of young people...the same that stare back at me.

"We allow our ignorance to prevail upon us and make us think we can survive alone, alone in patches, alone in groups, alone in races, even alone in genders." -Maya Angelou

The Dreaded Question

We didn't listen to Eye of The Tiger or I will survive, but I did stop by Dunkin Donuts to get a coffee.  Something I do every day but felt I needed more today.  Then we went up the entrance of where we were supposed to take the interstate and no matter how much we hoped or prayed we found ourselves with the fact that there was a ridiculous amount of traffic.  Gladly enough we made in time and having students help us with finding the entrance, we made ourselves into the building.

Our first encounter was with the people at the office, who were very nice and welcoming.  Then a drum beat sounded somewhere off in the distance as we made ourselves to our cooperating teacher's classroom.  Two minutes later we stood outside of her classroom and extended our hands to introduce ourselves and greet her.  Gladly enough one of the things she said to me was, "you look very professional."  This comment while very simple took a huge weight off my shoulders, especially after I had spent numerous hours worrying about how I would look.  But then came the question that drives this whole post today.  A question that I dread being asked and sometimes I do not know how to answer.  One that I feel I should probably have a paper written for to explain my rationale.  Why do you want to be a teacher?  Not having enough time to answer this question I just summarized it to liking English and wanting to work with students.  There is actually so much more that I would say though....

There is that quote that says "one day you will know why it never worked with anybody else," today reflecting on this question I realized why it never worked in any other career.  Three career changes later I finally arrived at what many call "their true calling."  I might have listened to my high school teachers telling me that I should pursue a career in teaching and yes I probably thought they were crazy, but exposing myself to the teaching program at Rhode Island College and observing in many school it is then that I found what makes me feel like I am at the right place.

In high school people would ask me, "so what do you want to go to college for?"  Back then my answer was, I want to be a Police Officer.  Thinking back I think, "whoa has that view changed."  That came to change about the time I found out I was pregnant and realized this was a job that risked my life on a daily basis and there would be someone home who needed me to come and be part of her life.  It was then when I realized this was probably not the career for me.  Yes I do respect the officers who protect us and risk their lives, it is an honorable job but I was probably too selfish at the thought of risking the chance of leaving my daughter without a mother figure.

After that I switched my view and decided I wanted to be a nurse.  This was probably due to the fact that there are four doctors in my family.  I remembered the days back in the old country and how I used to watch my grandfather who was a doctor attend his patients.  This probably filled my mind with the possibility that this was a way to help people and one that I wanted to pursue.  But then there were the boring, rote learning classes that did not inspire anything out of their students.  Well they inspired me to go out and drink with my other lab buddies after a session of anatomy.  Yes we smelled like formaldehyde but we still didn't care, we need it desperately to forget all the numerous veins in the body that threatened to fail us in the next test.  I made it all the way to needing one class before applying to the program when I decided to drop it.  I remember curling up into a ball and crying.  Crying because I knew how much of my time I had devoted to this program and at the end it would not work for me.

It was after all of this that as I have mentioned before to other people, I made my way to my English teacher's classroom to tell her of my career change.  Only she knew what I was there for and waited until I told her the story to tell she knew why I was there.  I guess at that point in time I needed comfort, support and understanding for dropping a program and going into a new one.  I was glad I went, I felt so much lighter after and understood that I was ready to take the journey of a lifetime.

My first semester at RIC was full of establishing a foundation.  There was a special class that taught me about the inequalities within education.  There were so many and this was something that I knew about from graduating from Central Falls High School.  Even so I stayed and in my second to last semester I have discovered how teaching fulfills a void deep inside my heart.  One that starts with wanting to pay back a society that needs teachers who come from lower class schools and know of the inequalities in diverse classroom to one filled with great English teachers who continue to be my models.

But teaching is much more than that.  It was being at Central where I saw that I would not want to be anywhere else or doing anything else but teaching.  Yes teaching is a challenge, but I like a challenge.  Life is not easy at least not in my world and the more challenges you accept the better you become at surviving.  I don't see myself sitting in front of a computer all day and making more money,,,I do see myself however standing in front of students and making less money but nevertheless interacting with human beings.  I know adolescent's are full of hormones and whatsoever but I also believe they are bright individuals who need to be kindled.

With that said, I am realistic enough to know that I am not going to transform a whole system of education.  I do however know that a little bit at a time helps.  I want to be a teacher because I have passion for the subject that I want to teach.  I love the reality of teaching no matter how messed up it is.  Every time I go into a new school I never leave thinking this is not the career I want to pursue.  Instead I want to learn more and be more involved.  Teaching is a magnificent career to pursue, one that I do at home and one that I hope to do outside of it.    

After all of this is when I realize,,,"this is why it never worked in any career, this was the reason I dropped all the other programs...teaching was my true calling and once I got to it I knew I was in for the ups and downs."