There is that feeling that when someone special is gone you can't bring them back.  That unexplicable sense of emptiness and vagueness that we can find no way to describe.  All there is left is a mark; one that permanently stays in our hearts and minds forever. Saturday afternoon I was on my way to a babyshower; my phone rang and it was my friend from college Emmanuel.  I thought that it was odd that he was calling and even thought that maybe he wanted to go out for a drink because of St. Patrick's day weekend.  But no, instead he said "I have bad news for you."  Since Saturday those bad news have stayed within my heart, have ran down my face in the form of tears and have left my heart broken.  Dr. Jenn Cook, my adolescent lit professor during my first semester at RIC, my mentor, my practicum and student teaching teacher, a believer in who I could become and most of all one of my biggest inspirations had passed away.  I have seeked answers and found none, only the fact that I went by her office so many times and she was not there but now there is the hurt that only her spirit will be there because she won't inhabit it again.  I still remember being in that office one semester for counseling of classes and it was the first time she had met my husband, the first thing she tells him is "your wife is such an amazing person."  Today those words resonate, those memories invade my heart and it is all I have left of the person that she was.  However after looking through my binders, after reading e-mails and blog comments she materialized.  I realized heartbroken that she is not coming back to teach a class, to tell me things but that she is still here and she is still a part of me.  Her own words made her come alive, her writing etched to pieces of papers, scribbled on index cards and typed digitally allow her to stay.  Beyond time, space and mortal life Dr. Cook remains here.  What better way to treasure her than through her writing?  What better way to remember her than through her comments?  I sit here and think of the countless times that she must have had to correct piles of papers and yet she found a moment to write words of wisdom and encouragement in the ones I received.  It is then that I feel lucky and thankful for I had the privilege of meeting her, of being her student...of knowing her and today I have the privilege to cry for her loss, to mourn her passing but also to rejoyce in the moments we shared and to tresure the pieces of writin that I have from her.  A big part of my identity as a teacher I owe it to her.  She was and will continue to be my role model...already my twitter feed feels empty because it is missing her tweets.  However she lives in me, in my lessons, in my love for teaching...in my love for literature.  Her parting was premature and many are hurting, but I also know she has left a legacy and our society will get to know who she was.  Thank you Dr. Cook, I appreciate you.

The Danger of the Single Story

After viewing the video of Chimamanda Adichie, I can only agree with her story.  As an American you start to listen to many stories that you come to believe are true but I also recognize that as an immigrant and minority you understand that many of those "single stories," are not necessarily true.  My first semester at Rhode Island College sitting in my first education class the professor asked a question about Central Falls; a female student raised her hand and started to talk about all the wrong things she had heard were wrong with Central Falls from the news.  Having graduated from that school, I knew that almost all she had heard was not true.  After all, I had graduated from there, I was sitting in the same room as her, wanting to become an educator and knew that I wasn't a criminal.  Just because we were considered poor, didn't not mean that we couldn't aspire to bigger things.  I was so infuriated but also determined to change that misinterpretation.  Now as I stand in front of my classroom and other minority classrooms in Central Falls and in Providence, I realize that this is real.  The students in those classroom only hear of a single story....one of shame, guilt and failure.  Test scores ultimately say the kind of people they are...a low performing community.  It is like a grim-reaper hanging over their heads and pushing the to failure.  It is one of the reasons why I feel so passionate to be there, why I feel that I am at the right place when I stand in front of a minority classroom.  I am there to break the cycle, to prove history wrong and to tell another story.  I was once an ELL student just like them and I was in a "poor school."  However I was determined to not let the "single story" define me.  This is what I tell my students; of all the things I can teach them, it is the best lesson they can sit in my classroom to hear.  For I believe it can empower them to move forward and to eventually stop listening to the same "single story." 

Kindergarten Milestone With Unforgettable Memories

I remember the first day like it was yesterday....I dropped my daughter at school, she was wearing a pink and blue blouse with jeans and silver shoes.  On her back she was carrying her Disney's Brave backpack and it was the first day of Kindergarten.  Sure enough being the mother that I am, I cried on the way home and even cried during my seminar class.  I couldn't wait for the afternoon to come so I could go pick her up and tell her how much I missed her and loved her.  Tomorrow however she will be graduating Kindergarten. A whole year has gone by, where my "baby," has learned much about what school is and also much more about academics. Mya is so excited about graduating Kindergarten; she wants me to bring her a balloon and for her dad, her and I to go eat at Friendly's.  She obviously has big plans for when school is done including, going to six flags, the beach, reading and sleeping until late when she is on vacation.  We have made her teacher a card and brought her a little flower arrangement.  After making the card, Mya cried.  She said she was crying because she was going to miss her teacher who was a really nice teacher because she made lots of fun projects with her and ran around the classroom with her students running behind her.  I was also heartbroken for her and also because this was the same teacher that helped my daughter feel welcomed and at home the first few weeks of school.  To the best of my mother abilities, I assured her that in the future she would get a new teacher who would probably be as fun and caring as the one she has now.

As a mother I feel so thankful for the first teacher my daughter had.  Her tears of heartbreak make me realize that she is greatly appreciated by my daughter and it is due to the impact she has made in Mya's life.  I imagine many other kids will feel like my daughter tomorrow because they will also miss their kindergarten teacher.  I was so anxious the first week of school, not knowing what to expect or how my daughter would feel out in the real world.  Now ten months later I feel so relieved that she has been able to collect so many positive memories.  I can only hope that in the future her teachers will make this much of an impact on her life  because as a future teacher and having been in classrooms, I understand and embrace that teachers are not only teachers but caregivers; our work isn't just made up of correcting work and implementing lessons but also acknowledging that we care on a daily basis for multiple human beings.  We make an impact on their lives because they spend a big chunk of their day with us.  I always try to keep in my hearth the thought that school is a second home and therefore I want to be a positive force within that home.

In a few hours my daughter will put on her dress and look like a princess.  She will get her Kindergarten diploma and snap pictures with my husband, her teacher and myself.  Most important, one day far, far, far away, I will tell her about her kindergarten teacher and all the great things she said about her when one day she sees her picture.

 

A Human Made List of Inspirations and Gratitude

Last week of student teaching has arrived...I don't know how I feel about this but I know it's a mix of emotions.  This blog post however will be about remembering what brought me here and the people who have paved the way. 

I remember being in the nursing program and making the decision to drop it one class before entering clinicals.  It was tought, I felt defeated, I cried but nevertheless I did it.  I sat in my the classroom of my high school English teacher and told her about my decision.  Mrs. Grant, I knew she would make me feel great about my decision and she did.  I remember her telling me, "I told you years ago you had a calling for teaching English."  Those words marked the start of my English education career.  They were words of encouragement from a person who believed in me and who has helped me immensely during the way. 

Then I remember Mr. Occhi, who had also been a teacher of mines in Central Falls.  He was killed in a tragic accident which marked the lives of many of his past students.  I know that if he was alive, he would have been the next person who I would have gone to when I decided to become an English teacher.  From my years of high school he told me to "treasure my writing," and gave me a journal as a special place to put it in.  He attended my wedding and I know that if he would have been alive he would have attended my upcoming graduation.  My first semester of Secondary English Education began with me visiting his tombstone to read him a poem I had written for him.  Over my semesters at RIC, I have continued to visit him and bring him little stories that I read to him.  I know that wherever he is, he will be glad when I cross that stage and receive my diploma for some of his teacher spirit lives in me. 

I can't even write about each and every one of the professor that i've had at RIC who have taught me what it means to be a teacher but most importantly what it means to be a human being.  Professors like Feldsteing have taught me to "rent and don't buy," and Dr. Brell who taught me that personal stories belong in the classroom.  Last semester Dr. Johnson allowed me to see the value of my writing when she cried while I read one of my stories...it was such a moving moment.  But also i've had Duneer and Jalalzai who pushed me to be a better writer. 

My first semester at RIC I entered a classroom filled of about thirty people into Adolescent Literature class and in that class I learned so much about myself as a student.  Dr. Cook was the professor who taught that class and I never imagined that she would be the professor to teach me on my two semesters as an undergrad.  I am thankful for her because she has taught me the power of writing and also has helped me to see why I belong in a classroom.  Through her assignments and her comments I have grown greatly.  I know that a part of her will live with me throughout my career.  The spirit of a true teacher lives within her and I take with me the many valuable memories that I cherish about how to treat students as human beings but also teach them something valuable. 

Last but not least is the person whom I sat down with this morning to have breakfast, Ms. Friendson.  On behalf of it being teacher appreciation week, I brought her breakfast this morning and once again we ate together.  I will be hearthbroken when I leave on Friday because many of our rituals will be broken.  Every morning we have breakfast together and chat, some Fridays my husband has brought us lunch and we have had enjoyed Spanish cooking.  We have had numerous conversations about all types of subject were I have learned much about what it means to be a teacher.  Still I will cherish so many memories that go beyond the classroom.  I have truly been gifted with the best Cooperating Teacher I could have asked for.  I have enjoyed my student teaching and I know that I will probably cry once Friday comes. 

There are so many people who have made a difference in my life, this list only makes up a few of those who have helped me and insipire me along the way.  I am so happy to have such inspiring people and role models to learn from. 

Bringing Media to the Classroom

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaupfP6C9Ug&safe=active

After teaching The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini we moved on to teaching Human Rights.  We have spent three weeks learning about Human Right's issues around the world.  The whole idea behind this part of the unit was to become aware of issues that we didn't know about before or that we wanted to learn more about.  For the final form of presenting students had a choice of either doing spoken word, a video or doing a photo story.  The students loved that it was a project they owned and they were able to make the decisions about the message they wanted to send.  I also decided to make my own video raising awareness about an issue that has to do with the rights of students.  After all I am an educator and what I most want is for students to be aware of the discrepancies in education that are not always addressed by the people in power.  For my blog post this week I decided to share my video with you guys and I have also shared it on youtube.  The link to my video is the one above if you want to see it for yourself.   

Spring Offers New Beginnings

After meeting with my classmates on Thrusday, I leaned things I had not seen about Robert from his work.  After seeing two of his classworks one of the most valuable things that I learned is that he was eager for spring to finally be here.  He had used the same quote from the book which was about the main character wanting the season of spring badly.  This made me be excited for spring this week, I was awaiting a change in him and it did come.  He has changed completely; he now looks me in the eye, is interested in his work and even compliments me on my wardrobe.  Every week I get to pick a quote of the week to put all week on the board and this week the quote that I picked was the very same one he had used on both of his classwork assignments...the one about the coming of spring.  I am happy that I got to learn more abou this student and that my classmates offered a different view on him.  I am excited that spring is here and that a season of changes has begun.

Student Made Test: What a Learning Experience!!!

After reading all of The Kite Runner, I was faced with the decision that students had to take a final test.  While talking to my teacher we developed a lesson idea called "A Silent Discussion;" in this lesson students were given a blank sheet of paper and had to ask two questions about the text.  Next students will sent their paper with the two questions to the person on their left (we will be sitting in circle fashion).  Students had have fifteen minutes to answer on of the two questions, they choose which one they wish to answer.  After the ten minutes students pass the paper once again but this time they can either answer the other question or ask a new question (they will have fifteen minutes to do this).  Once all students are done we went into discussion mode. 

Once in discussion mode we discuss the questions as a class.  Whichever student feels they have a question worthy of asking for everyone to discuss is welcomed to raise their hands and leave it for the group/class to discuss.  Students were told from the start that the questions they were developing were going to serve a purpose; these questions were going to be part of their test.

After trying out this lesson with my periods three and four we noticed that these questions were valuable and that our idea worked out.  We chose ten questions from period two and ten from period three and these questions developed by them and even some of them discussed in class were the questions that appeared on their book test.  Because they were told this from the start,they were willing to care about what they were doing and they took time, effort and thinking into what questions they were writing, answering and asking. 

Sitting down this week and correcting the number of book test I noticed that this was a fair way to beat the testing system and that it gave students a fair chance at having some power over their education.  I also asked them what they had thought about the test being made in this form after they finished taking it and they responded that it was the first time they did this and also that they really liked the way it was set up.  Many of them felt it was challenging but they also said that if you had read the book it was information you should have known.  I am glad that instead of making a test for them, I decided to have them develop their own test.

This experience is something I will take with me beyond student teaching and I feel that it has also been one of the experiences that has taught me a lot about education and the power of testing.