We didn't listen to Eye of The Tiger or I will survive, but I did stop by Dunkin Donuts to get a coffee. Something I do every day but felt I needed more today. Then we went up the entrance of where we were supposed to take the interstate and no matter how much we hoped or prayed we found ourselves with the fact that there was a ridiculous amount of traffic. Gladly enough we made in time and having students help us with finding the entrance, we made ourselves into the building.
Our first encounter was with the people at the office, who were very nice and welcoming. Then a drum beat sounded somewhere off in the distance as we made ourselves to our cooperating teacher's classroom. Two minutes later we stood outside of her classroom and extended our hands to introduce ourselves and greet her. Gladly enough one of the things she said to me was, "you look very professional." This comment while very simple took a huge weight off my shoulders, especially after I had spent numerous hours worrying about how I would look. But then came the question that drives this whole post today. A question that I dread being asked and sometimes I do not know how to answer. One that I feel I should probably have a paper written for to explain my rationale. Why do you want to be a teacher? Not having enough time to answer this question I just summarized it to liking English and wanting to work with students. There is actually so much more that I would say though....
There is that quote that says "one day you will know why it never worked with anybody else," today reflecting on this question I realized why it never worked in any other career. Three career changes later I finally arrived at what many call "their true calling." I might have listened to my high school teachers telling me that I should pursue a career in teaching and yes I probably thought they were crazy, but exposing myself to the teaching program at Rhode Island College and observing in many school it is then that I found what makes me feel like I am at the right place.
In high school people would ask me, "so what do you want to go to college for?" Back then my answer was, I want to be a Police Officer. Thinking back I think, "whoa has that view changed." That came to change about the time I found out I was pregnant and realized this was a job that risked my life on a daily basis and there would be someone home who needed me to come and be part of her life. It was then when I realized this was probably not the career for me. Yes I do respect the officers who protect us and risk their lives, it is an honorable job but I was probably too selfish at the thought of risking the chance of leaving my daughter without a mother figure.
After that I switched my view and decided I wanted to be a nurse. This was probably due to the fact that there are four doctors in my family. I remembered the days back in the old country and how I used to watch my grandfather who was a doctor attend his patients. This probably filled my mind with the possibility that this was a way to help people and one that I wanted to pursue. But then there were the boring, rote learning classes that did not inspire anything out of their students. Well they inspired me to go out and drink with my other lab buddies after a session of anatomy. Yes we smelled like formaldehyde but we still didn't care, we need it desperately to forget all the numerous veins in the body that threatened to fail us in the next test. I made it all the way to needing one class before applying to the program when I decided to drop it. I remember curling up into a ball and crying. Crying because I knew how much of my time I had devoted to this program and at the end it would not work for me.
It was after all of this that as I have mentioned before to other people, I made my way to my English teacher's classroom to tell her of my career change. Only she knew what I was there for and waited until I told her the story to tell she knew why I was there. I guess at that point in time I needed comfort, support and understanding for dropping a program and going into a new one. I was glad I went, I felt so much lighter after and understood that I was ready to take the journey of a lifetime.
My first semester at RIC was full of establishing a foundation. There was a special class that taught me about the inequalities within education. There were so many and this was something that I knew about from graduating from Central Falls High School. Even so I stayed and in my second to last semester I have discovered how teaching fulfills a void deep inside my heart. One that starts with wanting to pay back a society that needs teachers who come from lower class schools and know of the inequalities in diverse classroom to one filled with great English teachers who continue to be my models.
But teaching is much more than that. It was being at Central where I saw that I would not want to be anywhere else or doing anything else but teaching. Yes teaching is a challenge, but I like a challenge. Life is not easy at least not in my world and the more challenges you accept the better you become at surviving. I don't see myself sitting in front of a computer all day and making more money,,,I do see myself however standing in front of students and making less money but nevertheless interacting with human beings. I know adolescent's are full of hormones and whatsoever but I also believe they are bright individuals who need to be kindled.
With that said, I am realistic enough to know that I am not going to transform a whole system of education. I do however know that a little bit at a time helps. I want to be a teacher because I have passion for the subject that I want to teach. I love the reality of teaching no matter how messed up it is. Every time I go into a new school I never leave thinking this is not the career I want to pursue. Instead I want to learn more and be more involved. Teaching is a magnificent career to pursue, one that I do at home and one that I hope to do outside of it.
After all of this is when I realize,,,"this is why it never worked in any career, this was the reason I dropped all the other programs...teaching was my true calling and once I got to it I knew I was in for the ups and downs."
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